Traveling for Independence

Independence is a big word. Not only is it a big word, but it is an incredibly difficult one to learn and abide by.

It’s easy to get to a place in your mental health journey in which you start to cling onto the people around you for your happiness. Now I’m not talking about the situations in which you need some time with people to give you a mood boost, or your desire to participate in social situations. The unhealthy co-dependency that I am talking about is the one in which you feel that someone else is responsible for your personal happiness.

So what do you do when you find yourself at the point of being codependent?

Start taking steps to reestablish your own independence.

One of the most beneficial ways I found to establish the strength of my own two feet was by taking solo travel expeditions. Now you don’t necessarily need to go far, or go long, or drop a bunch of money in order to feel the effects of traveling on your own.

Timing of your solo adventures can be of importance. I think a good time to go is when you are freshly graduated from living with your parents or during your initial university years. Now, if those days have long since come and gone for you, that does not mean that the opportunity is lost.

The reason that I suggest traveling during this time period is because this is a really crucial age in which you are beginning to learn to be independent in more ways than just taking responsibility for your mental health. Traveling alone forces you to navigate for yourself, monitor your budget, figure out where your next meal is coming from, and where to house yourself-- on your own. Not to assume that you didn’t have these experiences growing up, but you’re doing it by choice and in a new location this time. You’re doing it for fun rather than out of necessity. You also learn how to be resourceful and make your funds stretch, because most often a fresh grad does not have an ample travel fund. Purely keeping yourself safe and alive in a new environment and new situation will go to increase your sense of independence and help you feel empowered.

The same goes if you’re past your new-grad years. Maybe your long-term relationship is coming to an end. Maybe you’re going through a divorce. Maybe your youngest child is finally flying the coop. All you have known for the past *insert years here* is how-to live-in consideration of the other person/s. Here’s your opportunity to get back into your body and discover again the things that are important to you.

You get to be ‘selfish’ for a while again.

But is traveling solo safe?

There are always risks of travel, especially when doing so alone. The risks of travel, as a woman, are especially apparent when you receive skeptical looks upon the announcement of your plan.

One thing that I cannot stress enough is to be aware of your surroundings. This is important no matter what situation you are in in life, ever. Even when you are not alone. This isn’t to say that you should be paranoid and constantly feel like someone is following you. But if you have seen a vehicle take the same 6 turns as you in a residential area, maybe drive past your house before actually pulling into your driveway. Choosing to walk down an unlit alleyway at three in the morning? Definitely not recommending this, but if you’re going to do it anyways, maybe equip yourself with some pepper spray, have your phone in hand, and make sure to look into the shadows. And look behind you once or twice. Please don’t wear headphones at night, either. It is as important to be able to hear your surroundings as it is to be able to see them. Staying in a motel? For Pete’s sake, please use the deadbolt and chain. When you get inside of your vehicle, lock the doors before sitting inside checking your text messages. And take a glance in the back seat before you get in and lock yourself in there.

Now back to the happies of traveling solo.

Another perk of traveling alone is that there is no agenda. You can spend as much time by yourself as you want. You can partake in the activities you want without having to coordinate with anyone else. Or you can chat with strangers (in a safe PUBLIC setting—sorry Mom—DO NOT MEET STRANGERS IN STRANGE PLACES PLEASE), and maybe share an interesting conversation or two. You can have conversations with yourself in the car while you drive… err. Maybe that’s just me? You only need to be concerned once you start talking to animals and they start talking back. You can sing Wicked at the top of your lungs in the car. No one has to hear you.

One of the biggest benefits of traveling alone that I find is that it forces you to sit with yourself, but it gives you a safe environment to do so. I cannot count the number of times I’ve had my deepest and most forthcoming internal dialogues by simply driving down the highway for hours at a time. I’ve also found it easier to bump up your self confidence in a crowd of no expectations. By this I mean that no one knows you, so you can proudly be whoever you want, dress how you want, act how you desire (but don’t be an asshole, obviously). No one knows you as “that guy’s girlfriend” or “so and so’s daughter,” so your identity can be as pure as you make it.

Solo travel means you have the freedom to decide to do whatever it is to make yourself happy, and that’s worth the trip all in itself.